The Noun

thatstink.com theslap.com wordgerms.com earwormtunes.com earwormfarm.com tableplant.biz -Jake Farrow

We have been downright atrocious about updating this site lately. And for that, loyal fan(s), we apologize. Do expect postings in the near future, though. Promise. Don’t abandon us. Please. In the meantime, we thought we’d tide you over with one of our favorite poems of all time — the heart-breakingly beautiful “Birches” by Robert [...]

Dear Bamboo, While I‘ve enjoyed your ever-carefree presence on my desk since January 2006, sadly, it has come time to end our yearlong tryst. I know I should first apologize for leaving on vacation and forgetting to call a sitter, but now that you have shriveled and turned yellow I find my appeal for you [...]

  – Did you get the new kid? – Yeah, he was scared, but we got situated. – How so? – He’s locked in the closet. – Interesting. – He’s been kicking a lot. I figure I’ll let him wear himself out. But, you know, if that doesn’t work Jerry suggested just getting him a [...]

This is outright ridiculous. Yes, we’re being childish engaging this type of folk, but seriously? Leave lil’ ol’ unoffending us alone, you big meanies! Their email: Subject Line: Say What? (We would never give their address away, but we will say it had “Marcel Proust” in it) You’re not looking for submissions. You’re looking for [...]

When my roommate of five years called and told me she was moving back to New York, I started sobbing uncontrollably. It wasn’t the crying that bothered me, it was the fact that I was in a giant outdoor shopping mall in Los Angeles called The Grove while doing so. It was the upscale, tween-celebrity-rife [...]

Year on to yesteryear, and with a mouthful of toothpaste the youth-burned old chap rehashes summer memories to a wishful soundtrack of storefront nostalgia. Dog-wagged tails, downstairs, at the coffee house, and in sensationalist photojournalism are no different than touchscreen starlets or a boy in a crowd with a head full of empathogens and crossword [...]

it was on a Friday the day before yesterday when we broke into a forest clearing and took a long look goodbye this Tuesday we have a nice new appointment at the bank     the bank had all the money we had needed to answer the case presented unto us that was all we [...]

Wandering aloud mind of an escapist Ruminations on deep incalculable feats Shadowy webs upon a face of naivety   The plight of continents exposed to veiled unity   Tasks to imagine no thought of destinations   Describe without thinking land held underwater Fields of vision caught with lesions that adhere to false senses   Organize [...]

Don’t tread on the frog It won’t be a pleasant sight To watch the frog croak  -Jill Gray